Watching
by midnight-wolf-314
Summary: Everyone’s been watching Haruhi. Haruhi’s been watching Tamaki. And why is Haruhi having a breakdown now, of all times? TamaHaru
1. Story Information

**Story Information**

**Title:** "Watching"

**Author**: Midnight-Wolf-314

**Total Chapter Count**: 2

**Status**: Completed

**Genre**: Romance / Idiocy (aka, General)

**Pairings**: Tamaki / Haruhi

One-sided Hikaru / Haruhi

**Series**: Ouran High School Host Club

**Date Completed**: February 15, 2008

**Date Last Edited**: ---

**Summary**: Everyone's been watching Haruhi. Haruhi's been watching Tamaki. And why is Haruhi having a breakdown _now_, of all times?

**Disclaimer**: The _Ouran High School Host Club_ English translation manga belongs to Bisco Hatori and Shojo Beat publishing. I claim ownership only of the stupid plot bunny that wouldn't shut up and let me sleep. Nothing else belongs to me.

A/N: (please read)

Wow, my first OHSHC fanfic. Please excuse this…I've had all of five hours of sleep in the past two days and I woke up at 1:30 this morning with this idea stuck in my head and well, eight hours later, here's this jumbled mess. Originally, it was only going to be one chapter, but I babbled on so long about random crap I had to make it two, mostly because I realized that I completely switched writing styles about half-way through. I couldn't find exactly the point where it changed, but I got the place that seemed the best, so I hope it's okay. I decided to post it anyway, even though it probably needs a lot of editing. I'll look over it again in about a week when I've had enough time to gather my thoughts about it. I'm posting both chapters at the same time, but please REVIEW if you read it all the way through. Actually, even if you don't read it all the way through, even if you don't get past the first sentence, review and tell me why, please. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Flames will be used to burn this copy of the story after I have some insight as to how I can make it better (I'm kinda brain-dead right now…).

Aside from all that, I really have been wanting to write a Host Club fanfic for a while now. I've had several ideas for stories, but I wanted to wait and finish FMN first…this one however, was one of those middle-of-the-night plot bunnies that continue to jump up and down on your already aching and sleep-deprived head until you get up and write about it. At first I only planned on writing the first couple drabbles, but obviously I got a bit carried away, as per usual.

These first few drabbles, separated from each other by 88888888, are all by different members of the club. Haruhi goes about every other two, but I hope it's not too confusing without me having to spell out who's thinking what. Also, please keep in mind that while they don't have actual dates on them, the first 8 drabbles range over a period of time of about a month. Just assume there are two drabbles every week or so. Don't look too much into it, just a point.

Also, This story goes by the manga-verse, and has spoilers up through volume 9. While I have read up to ch. 58 and know that some things I've noted in here are contradictory of later facts, since there are only 10 volumes out so far in English, that's how far the spoilers go. Most of this, it doesn't matter if you've read that, though there is one small part in the second chapter you'll be greatly confused about it you haven't read volume 9.

I tried to keep everyone in character. Please let me know if you think someone's too OOC at any time.

The information at the top of this page, i.e.- disclaimer and summary, are only stated in this chapter. When you go to the next page to read the story, you will not see a disclaimer. You shouldn't need to, for you see, it's right up there, stated in plain English for anyone who wants it.

If there is anyone who wishes to beta this, please let me know in a review. I would be greatly appreciative of any help you can give me, and I may ask for your services again in the future, should I write another fic you might be interested in.

Right here I will add a glossary of Japanese terms used throughout the story. I'll put them at the bottom of each chapter as well, but if you're like me and don't enjoy interrupting your story to scroll down to the bottom and risk possible spoilers just to find out what a word means, here ya go!

Language note:

I realize that when it comes to fanfiction we otaku tend to get a bit technical, so here I put a note. Everything in this definition list is spelled the way I have seen it most often, or the way it is spelled in the manga. For example (just to name a few that I know for a fact people get crabby about), Suoh vs. Suou; Arigato vs. Arigatou; Senpai vs. Sempai; Tono vs. Dono; Host Club vs. Hostobu, etc. These are all differences in the language when we translate, so don't get picky. I'm stating this now because I don't want to get reviews (which I have in the past) cussing me out because I spelled something "wrong". Culture shock, people, its called Americanization. People in Japan take English words and butcher their pronunciation too, and we don't hold it against them because we understand, ne? So be a bit less annoying about it please. If you think you seriously think that Tamaki's last name should have a "u" on the end instead of an "h", I greatly urge you to go take it up with Shojo Beat, seeing as they're the ones who translated it that way in the first place. If you have a problem with my spelling, please feel free to review stating so. I will be more than happy to give you a nice long reply about the differences between the Japanese and English languages. Now, with that said, here are the definitions, in order or appearance.

_Usa-chan_- Bunny

If you don't know this one there's something wrong

you, go read the series again.

(This is Honey's bunny's name. Actually, it doesn't have a name, because usa-chan means bunny, so he's just calling it "my bunny" but still, I figured I'd mention it in case some people had only seen the anime.)

_Gomen Nasai-_ I'm sorry

_Gomen Ne_- I'm sorry

_Gomen_- I'm sorry

(These are all different variations and abbreviations of the same word used throughout the story. Basically, in order they go down in formality. It's like saying "I'm very sorry" "I'm sorry" or "sorry" though they technically all mean the same thing.)

_Onii-chan_- Brother

_Arigatou_- Thank You

_Tono_- My Lord

If you've watched the anime at all, you should know this one hands down. The twins use it all the time to joke around with Tamaki after he insists on being called "king"

_Baka_- Idiot/ Fool/ Stupid

_Hime_- Suffix on a name in referring to "Princess"

Ex- Princess Mononoke Mononoke-hime

(Generally there are other ways of saying "princess" in Japanese, however _–Hime_ is a suffix used to put the title to someone's actual name. However, Tamaki uses it in the series to simply refer to one of his clients without her name, so I use it thus in the story)

_Onegai_- Please

_Sempai_- suffix referring to someone who is older and more skilled at a craft. It is used in this series to refer to a senior in grade level.

Ex- Tamaki-sempai

_Hontou_- Really

_Hai_- Yes

_Iie_- No

_Haruhi no baka_- Haruhi is an idiot / Haruhi is stupid

'_Tou-san-_ Same as "_otou-san_", meaning "father"

_Watashi ha daisuki Tamaki_- I love Tamaki

_Daisuki_- Love / I love you

(Can be used to mean either. Technically it just means "love" as a branch off of the word

"_suki_" meaning "like". However, when used as a stand-alone word, it generally can be

understood as "I love you")

And there ya have it! Again, most of these words are probably common knowledge to anyone who has been reading fanfiction based on anime for a while. It is there, though, because I have several friends who will read this who probably don't know, seeing as they don't read much anime fanfiction.

Thanks guys, and I hope you enjoy this story!

With Love,

Midnight 


	2. Part I

"_Watching"_

Part I

Midnight-Wolf-314

I've been watching him for a while now. Every day I sneak scattered glances, always watching; waiting; hoping…but for what? I don't know.

In truth, he's always intrigued me. From the very moment I first stepped into the room, I wondered how anyone could be so confident, flamboyant, and all-around egotistical. Here was a man so full of himself that he dared insinuate I would fall in love with him. Psht, yeah right.

I don't _do_ love. I have a goal to achieve. That's why I'm here. I can't lose sight of that, no matter what. This whole club is merely a roadblock in my life—one of the many brick walls I have faced these past few years.

But still…I watch him. Why? I don't know. What difference will this make? He's just a player, a womanizer, a pervert, and a kiss maniac. He has nothing to do with me. Is that right?

Every day, I quickly glance; observe; monitor; view his actions.

Quiet…quick…scattered…

I wonder if he notices.

**88888888**

She's at it again.

Every day she glances that way, a scowl on her face. Her features contort into all styles of emotions. She's confused; skeptical; bewildered…but still, she watches, always observing. In truth, I guess that's just who she is.

A scholar, after all, must be observant. Especially one who dreams so fondly of legal studies. A lawyer must be open to all possibilities. It truly suits her.

However…I don't think even she realizes it yet.

She thinks she's being stealthy, but she should not be so careless. I am always watching, and _he_, well…if _he_ catches her, it'll be over. He'll ruin everything for himself and for her. I sincerely hope that doesn't happen.

Nonetheless, I'm intrigued.

How will this play out?

Only time will tell.

**88888888**

I continue to watch him.

Today, I noticed something I had never noticed before.

This "act" isn't an act at all. His smiles are genuine…his eyes glow with each word spoken, and one can just see devotion radiating off of him.

Why didn't I notice it before?

Every girl he smiles at…every heart he makes flutter…every girl with stars in her eyes…they're part of who he is. This isn't a game to him. He truly wants to make these girls happier than they can possibly be. A foolish desire. So why do I admire him for it?

This love isn't a façade. He truly cares for every girl he meets, with no matter of age, status, or, dare I even think it, wealth.

Why didn't I notice it sooner?

**88888888**

She's watching him again.

It's almost funny how she thinks nobody notices…

In fact, _he_'s probably the only one who _doesn't_ know.

But she doesn't suspect me, either. No one does, really. But I'm used to it.

In truth, I couldn't care less.

I'm just glad my prediction is coming true.

For now though, let's keep watching…ne, Usa-chan?

**88888888**

A development, he said. Yes, I remember. I remember everything he says.

It seems his prediction is coming true.

He always did have an eye for this sort of thing…

I wonder how this will develop.

It seems all I can do is watch and wait.

**88888888**

I have made two more discoveries.

He never kisses his girls anywhere but their hands.

He never says, "I love you".

Perhaps he is not as foolish as I first took him to be.

In truth, he could have any girl in the world.

I wonder which girl it is that truly holds his heart.

…I hope she's kind with it.

**88888888**

It's finally happened.

I can't say I didn't see it coming.

We all love her. She is the world. She is the light. We owe her everything.

And she's in love with _him_.

_We_ should support her. I _will_ support her.

I sigh aloud.

'Gomen nasai, onii-chan. I can't go against her wishes.'

**88888888**

Today I saw her.

Long, silky, cascading, chestnut hair…

Almond eyes so innocent, wide, and pure…

Slender, curvy, goddess-like body…

He always did seem to like girls like that.

And here she is—one girl so beautiful in his eyes…one who truly adores him…

They're perfect for each other.

I find it hard to look away.

Why does my chest feel so tight?

**88888888**

The look on her face breaks my heart.

I love her. I always have, since the first moment I met her.

I watch her every day.

Just like she watches _him_ every day.

A couple months ago, I would have seen my opportunity. I would have noticed it and seized the one and only chance I would ever get. I would have played off of it and manipulated the situation to fit my own benefits. She would fall in love with _me_ instead. After all, I'm better than _he_ is.

But today, I can't bring myself to do it.

It must be one of those many things she's changed about me.

The look on her face is one of heartbreak.

Her designators notice.

They question her.

She excuses herself as she stumbles to her feet and quickly heads toward the door.

Tears. I see tears.

And _he_ doesn't even notice. He's too busy playing with that damn vixen's hair.

I excuse myself as well.

_He_ is a baka.

But she's in pain.

I'll deal with _him_ later.

**88888888**

I run.

What am I going to do with myself?

Why do I cry over something so feeble?

I'm a scholar. My studies are everything.

So why is _he_ here?

When I looked to my future in the past, I see myself as a self-sufficient lawyer. I make my own money and I feed myself, simply living in the gentle pleasures I've come to know in my lifetime. I don't need love. I don't need a husband. I don't need money. I can take care of myself.

But today, I looked to my future as well.

But today, I saw not only a brilliant and accomplished lawyer, but also a loving husband—a family.

Why didn't I realize it sooner?

I run. Where am I going?

Anywhere but _that room_. As far away from _that room_ as possible.

The girls… I left the girls behind…

But that hardly matters to me now.

I only run. Through the halls, the door, the garden, the hedge, until I find myself _there_.

Why? Why here!? I can't take it anymore!

Before, there were only silent tears, but here, my legs give out. I fall to the ground, my body shaking with sobs.

Footsteps. I hear footsteps. No! No, he can't find me here. Not like this!

I force myself up. I force my feet to move. He catches me. I turn to meet him with an ashamed glance. But it's not _him_. I sigh with relief and I crumble. I cling to the man before me and cry like I'd never cried before. I cry for everything that's happened in my life that I couldn't cry about in years past.

I feel myself being lifted up, and I'm slowly carried into the gazebo covered in roses. It's _our_ spot. But why did I come here?

Oh, that's right.

I love _him_.

_He_ gives me comfort.

But how can he make me feel so safe when he's the reason I'm like this?

**88888888**

Haruhi left.

Or should I say, Haruhi fled?

She did run. Why didn't I see it? I don't understand…she's usually the first person that comes to my mind, but today…

I hate myself for it.

The day she needs me the most, I abandon her.

Damnit…

What the hell do I do now?

**88888888**

She's crying.

I've never seen her cry like this.

Actually, I've only seen her really cry once.

She was afraid, and I was there for her—even when _he's_ the one she really wanted there.

That jerk! I'll kill him! How dare he hurt her like this! And I bet he doesn't even notice she's gone. But she loves him. Why?

I hold her against me, offering her silent comfort.

This is torture! I wish she loved me. I would _never_ hurt her like this.

Deep down, though, I know _he_ wouldn't either. _He_ probably doesn't even realize… he always was so stupid…so foolish…so blind…

All I can do is whisper words of comfort to her.

I love her.

I want her to be happy.

And if she's not happy with me, then I'll let her go…

"Haruhi…"

88888888

"Hmm…?"

I sniff and look up, wiping my eyes.

"It's okay. You don't have to stop if you don't want to."

He's blushing. I smile. He never was too good with words. But here he is helping me.

"No…I'm done. Gomen…"

"Don't apologize!" He yells it out awkwardly and I flinch. "Sorry. I mean, you're a girl, Haruhi. It's okay to cry sometimes."

I smile genuinely for the first time that afternoon. "Arigatou, Hikaru. You're always there for me. Just like…like…"

"Just like he was?" I nod and feel the tears well up again. "Haruhi, listen to me. Tono's a baka." I giggle in spite of the tears still threatening to fall. "You agree?" I nod. He laughs. "Of course you agree. But in all seriousness, Haruhi, let me tell you something that you may not realize. Every last member of the host club, male or female, is wrapped around your little finger. Every-last-member, Haruhi. Just say the word and we'll be there."

"You're lying."

"I most certainly am not lying. When was the last time, before today, that we let anything happen to you?"

"Got an example?"

"Hmmm… like, Kyouya always watches you, more than anyone else. He'll do anything within his power to make you happy."

I snort. "Yeah, sure. Raising my debt really makes me happy."

"Do you seriously think he does that because he's being mean? Kyouya wants you to stay in the club. We all do. We're all afraid that one day your debt will be gone and you'll be out of our lives for good. And Kaoru and me too. You know, as soon as we're done out here I'm gonna go rip Tono's head off his shoulders for doing this to you. But y'know, I bet Kaoru's already beat me to it. And those girls you left behind? When I left they were near hysterics worrying about you. They think they did something to offend you. We _all_ love you, Haruhi. We wouldn't be anywhere near where we are today without you, and we owe you everything. Tono too. He's just being stupid right now."

I somehow find myself smiling again.

"Haruhi, we've all been watching you. For the past month you've done nothing but stare at Tono. We _all_ watch your expressions change. We _all_ know what you think when you watch him. And we _all_ knew it would happen eventually. We love you, Haruhi. Even Tono does. Actually, Tono more than anyone. He worries about you so much."

I blush. "That's not true."

"It is true. I guarantee you, nothing quite compares to being woken up at 4 AM during summer vacation to Tono yelling about how you've gone bankrupt and fled the country by night."

I giggle. "He really did that?" That certainly sounds like him…

"Yeah. He's stupid, but he cares about you. And you and I both know that if that ever actually happened, he'd be the one on a plane searching the entire planet for you. _And_, you and I both know he'd be the first one to offer you and Ranka-san a place to sleep and food for you to eat."

"I guess he would be, huh?"

"Of course he would. He's Tono!"

"But he was all over that girl in there…"

"You've never seen him fawn over a customer like that? How long have you been watching him now?"

"Well, he always fawns over his customers, but still…even for him, that was a bit much."

"Well, I do agree on that point. But, I bet it's nothing. Actually, right now he's probably running all over the school in blind panic looking for you."

"I doubt it."

"Really! You wanna go back and see?"

I sigh and nod. I'll have to face him sooner or later, after all.

**88888888**

I've been all over the school twice. Where could she be? I nearly got killed over the phone by an angry Ranka-san for calling the house…and she's not answering her cell, either.

I'm worried.

"What in the world made her run like that?"

I didn't realize I'd voiced that thought aloud until Kaoru whacked my head. That's odd…

"Baka! Do you really not know? How can you be so stupid!?"

I'm confused. Wait…does he mean… did I make her run like that?

"You really are hopeless, y'know?"

"What did I do!? Tell me! What made my daughter so angry?"

"Not angry, Tono—upset. You made her cry."

"I- I what? I made Haruhi cry? How?"

He groans. "You really are a baka. Just forget it, I'm sure you'll find out soon enough."

I sigh. If that's true…if this is really my fault…Haruhi won't want to see me. I'll just have to apologize next time I see her. Meanwhile, I sit down again next to the hime who had designated me earlier. Most other girls had left, but she remained.

"Now, now, Tamaki-sama… aren't I the one you should be paying attention to? I am paying you, after all. That little commoner brat doesn't even deserve glances from you."

I almost slapped her. I really did. I only just managed to remember that a gentleman should never hit a lady. She _really_ deserved it, though. I stood up in my anger. "Don't you dare talk about Haruhi like that!"

"What's wrong, Tamaki-sama? You're too good for her. The heir to the Suoh Empire shouldn't be fraternizing with such scum anyway. What would your grandmother say?"

"That woman's business is of no concern to me! I am me before I'm a Suoh!"

"You dare threaten to give up your title?"

"I don't need my title, and I don't need _your_ money! Now get out."

"Fine!"

She turned toward the door, but stopped as she saw it open. Not a moment later, she spun back to face me. Before I could even react, her hand was attached to my tie, pulling me on top of her and down on the couch. In that instant, I saw Haruhi's face in the doorway before she pulled my lips down to meet hers.

**88888888**

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Hikaru actually had me thinking that Tamaki would be worried about me. Here he is, though, with his lips locked against that bitch! I can't stop the tears this time either, and I turn and run right back out the door.

This time, Hikaru doesn't follow me.

End Part I Japanese to English glossary 

_Usa-chan_- Bunny

If you don't know this one there's something wrong

you, go read the series again.

(This is Honey's bunny's name. Actually, it doesn't have a name, because usa-chan means bunny, so he's just calling it "my bunny" but still, I figured I'd mention it in case some people had only seen the anime.)

_Gomen Nasai-_ I'm sorry

_Gomen Ne_- I'm sorry

_Gomen_- I'm sorry

(These are all different variations and abbreviations of the same word used throughout the story. Basically, in order they go down in formality. It's like saying "I'm very sorry" "I'm sorry" or "sorry" though they technically all mean the same thing.)

_Onii-chan_- Brother

_Arigatou_- Thank You

_Tono_- My Lord

If you've watched the anime at all, you should know this one hands down. The twins use it all the time to joke around with Tamaki after he insists on being called "king"

_Baka_- Idiot/ Fool/ Stupid

_Hime_- Suffix on a name in referring to "Princess"

Ex- Princess Mononoke Mononoke-hime

(Generally there are other ways of saying "princess" in Japanese, however _–Hime_ is a suffix used to put the title to someone's actual name. However, Tamaki uses it in the series to simply refer to one of his clients without her name, so I use it thus in the story)

_Onegai_- Please

_Sempai_- suffix referring to someone who is older and more skilled at a craft. It is used in this series to refer to a senior in grade level.

Ex- Tamaki-sempai

_Hontou_- Really

_Hai_- Yes

_Iie_- No

_Haruhi no baka_- Haruhi is an idiot / Haruhi is stupid

'_Tou-san-_ Same as "_otou-san_", meaning "father"

_Watashi ha daisuki Tamaki_- I love Tamaki

_Daisuki_- Love / I love you

(Can be used to mean either. Technically it just means "love" as a branch off of the word

"_suki_" meaning "like". However, when used as a stand-alone word, it generally can be

understood as "I love you")

Hope you enjoyed! Please remember to review.

With Love,

Midnight 


	3. Part II

"_Watching"_

Part II

Midnight-Wolf-314

I don't believe it! Vaguely, I'm aware that Haruhi left again. I almost went after her, but was too enraged to move my feet in any direction other than forward. I stop above the couch and pull Tono off of the girl and slap him straight across the face.

"Hikaru, stop!" Kaoru is trying to pull me away, but I'm not giving in that easily. "It's not his fault, really!"

I turned to my twin. "That may be so, but who said I'm not doing that for Haruhi? For before, when she first left? I want to beat him senseless right now, but I'm trying to be civilized!"

Kaoru smirked. "Well, I do agree that he needs some common sense knocked into him. But first, let's deal with this bitch here, shall we?"

**88888888**

Hikaru and Kaoru certainly have tempers, huh? Well, after everything I've done to Haruhi today, I probably deserved that slap. Actually, I deserved a lot worse than that slap, but now's not the time for that. Haruhi's gone again. This time, I'm not letting her go.

While the twins are preoccupied, I rush out the door, trying to think of where Haruhi possibly could have gone.

**88888888**

I don't care anymore! I can't stand it. If Tamaki really cared about me, _that_ wouldn't have happened. I don't care where I'm going—I just run. Out into the streets. I can't go home. I don't know where to go. So I just run. I didn't even look toward the sky.

Soon, the clouds I hadn't noticed before let lose, pouring droplets of water down onto my head. I don't have my bag. I don't have an umbrella. I'm simply running. And looking for shelter. I need to find somewhere to hide before the thunder starts.

**88888888**

Luckily, it was past time for clubs to end. Lucky for me, that is, my chauffer was waiting for me. I climbed into the limo for shelter from the starting rain. Panic ran through my mind. Panic for Haruhi. She's alone right now, hiding somewhere, sheltering herself from the storm. I pray I find her before the thunder and lighting strike. We drive the way to her house, first, hoping to find her on the streets. Soon though, I get tired of waiting in the car. I jump out and run myself, trying to find anywhere she could hide.

**88888888**

Just my luck. Damn, today is just not my day. Now, after all this, the thunder starts. And I'm in the park. Alone. Where the hell am I supposed to hide? I thought maybe—just maybe—I could make it home before all of this, but obviously not. Today, though, the thunder's even more painful than usual. Now, I think of Tamaki. And I do _not_ want to think about Tamaki.

I crouch down beneath a picnic table I come across. It's the best there is for now. I draw my knees up to my face and burry my eyes in them. The tears fall now, more than ever today. What is wrong with me? I knew this would happen…

I'm so stupid.

**88888888**

I can't think of anywhere else to look. Where could she be?

I worry about her so much, and now she's gone.

Gone, just like that.

Gone because of me.

What did I do, anyway? Haruhi never cries. Haruhi rarely lets anything feminine get out. And she most definitely never shows weakness in front of anyone. So what did I do that was so terrible?

I run through the park as a shortcut to her house. Maybe she made it back there. I wouldn't know, my cell phone is still back at school. And then it occurs to me—if she was running home to escape the thunder, she could be in the park. But where?

I run frantically through the entire park, searching through trees, play structures, and park benches, but there isn't anywhere to hide.

Just when I'm about to give up hope, however, I see a form through the dark clouds. She's huddled under a wooden picnic table. That's probably not the smartest place to be, but whatever, I'll scold her later.

I'm almost at a loss for what to do. Common sense tells me to apologize and then get her home safely, but she's obviously mad at me…but she needs someone.

I walk up to her shaking form. She doesn't notice me yet.

"Haruhi…"

I reach down and place my hand on her arm lightly. She jumps and looks up, her face streaked with tears. "Get away!" she screams as she tries to scramble away. My grip stays locked on though. Not enough to hurt her, but still firm enough to keep her in place.

"Haruhi, tell me what's wrong."

"No!"

"I'm sorry, Haruhi! Okay, I'm sorry! And I'm doubly sorry for really not knowing what I'm apologizing for! I know I'm stupid and you probably hate me, and if you do, that's fine, I probably deserve it, but you can't stay out here like this! At least let me give you a ride home. Or back to the school. Or anywhere that's better shelter than a wooden table, for god's sake!" I let go of her arm. "Please, Haruhi. Even if you hate me. Even if you never come back to the Host Club ever again because of me, tell me what it was I did that made you so upset! Onegai, Haruhi…onegai…I'm sorry."

She isn't moving away. Not like she's accepting my apology, but at least she hasn't run off again. She mumbles something, but I can't hear it over the rain.

"Did you say something?"

"I said 'I'm not quitting the Host Club, Sempai'!" she screamed out.

I smile and sit down next to her, though I don't reach out to her.

"I see. Glad to know I didn't send you away for good."

She just sat there, staring at the ground. With each rumble of thunder, she shivers and I want nothing more than to reach over and hold her close. I won't, though. I don't want to scare her away.

I smile sadly for a moment before I speak again.

"You know, Haruhi, that girl who designated me earlier…" I saw her flinch, but kept going. "That girl…she looked a lot like you." Her eyes grew wide at that declaration.

"Now don't get me wrong, no one can compare to you. But you know, I thought that, well, since you don't quite approve of me, I could sort of…fake it. All I could do was imagine your face on her. I know it's stupid. She really is nothing like you. But…it was so nice, to see your face actually approving of my antics, I just couldn't help myself. Gomen ne, Haruhi. Gomen ne for trying to substitute someone else for you. I really do care about you."

She smiled softly, though she was still crying. "So all of that stuff you were doing with her… you were thinking about me?"

"Yes, of course, Haruhi. I care about you more than anyone. So I wish you would at least allow me to escort you back to school."

It was still raining, however. I noted that Haruhi probably wouldn't want to go out in the thunder, and so we sat there just like that. I soon noticed, though, that the thunder was growing louder. After a particularly loud clap, I looked down at Haruhi.

She was shivering still, and I wanted nothing more than to draw her into an embrace, just like that time at the beach. It was driving me crazy, seeing her so vulnerable and not being able to do anything about it. But, she was currently mad at me, and so I thought better of it.

I sighed and drew my legs up to my chest as well. What could I do to make her trust me?

Suddenly, I heard a small "Eep…" and I felt something latch onto my sleeve. I hadn't even heard that one, but it must have been louder than the others to have her react like that. She lets go almost immediately. "Gomen nasai…"

"Haruhi…"

"Sorry, I won't do it again."

"Haruhi, you don't have to apologize. I'm here if you need me."

"Hontou?"

"Hontou. I mean it."

She smiles and snuggles against my arm, placing her hand on mine.

Another clap of thunder hit and I feel her grip tighten against the hand she grabbed. I smile gently and lift her up, setting her back down on my lap. I wrap my arms around her and my hand strokes her short, adorable hair. "Haruhi…"

I hold her like that until the thunder fades off into the distance and until I feel her stop shaking. I lean down and kiss her forehead, but I freeze when I feel her stiffen.

"Tamaki… again?"

"Again?"

"Ah, gomen, never mind."

"No, tell me what you mean."

"You did that before, too. Back when you were sick. But you don't remember, so just forget I brought it up, okay?"

"I really did that?"

She blushes. "Hai…"

"Gomen, Haruhi. Gomen for forgetting. Gomen for everything today."

"Iie, it's not your fault."

"Not my fault, of course it's my fault! Kaoru said I made you cry…twice! And I don't even know what I did that made you so upset…"

"That's okay. It was nothing, really. I was just being stupid, and y'know, girls get mood swings every now and then." She smiles up at me.

"Haruhi, I think I've known you long enough to know you don't get mood swings. Or at least if you do, you don't make a habit of showing them to people."

"Fine, you did upset me, but it really was nothing. Really, I should have known better. It was stupid, and I deserve it."

"C'mon now, Haruhi? Stupid? Those two words shouldn't even be in the same sentence. You are one of the most intelligent people I know. Now tell me, what could be so bad? You can tell me."

"Iie. You'll laugh and say 'Haruhi no baka' and you'll get full of yourself again and get even more obnoxious than you already are."

"Haruhi…"

"No, all you do is joke about it. You flirt with me and make such a big deal out of everything I do and then you laugh. You laugh and you get so obnoxious, and then you run off to the corner to grow those stupid mushrooms until I swallow my pride and compliment you, and then what do you do? You get all egotistical and we start all over again. Damnit, I should have known better! I'm so stupid, stupid, stupid! Y'know what, thanks for staying with me, but I really think I should get home now, 'tou-san'll be worried if I don't see him off to work…"

She stands up and starts walking, but I grab her hand and hold her in place.

"Not until you tell me what you're so bothered about! God, Haruhi, I'm sorry for being like that. If I knew it made you so upset I wouldn't have done it. But seeing as you don't go running off crying and worrying me half to death every time I make a silly comment, there's obviously more to it, so tell me!"

"IIE! Sempai, stop it!"

"Not until you tell me!" She flinches under my voice, and I let go of her hand.

"Gomen, Haruhi. Sorry I'm scarring you. Sorry I got violent. If you wanna go, then go. I understand. I just…I don't want to hurt you. But obviously I've done enough of that already."

"Sempai…iie, Tamaki, gomen. That was rude of me. Everything I said was rude of me, and you're not violent. Sorry. Now you know what makes me upset though."

"I still don't know why you got like that today. Please, just tell me. I don't want to hurt you again. I won't laugh or get dramatic. I'll just be me. I swear. I'll never make stupid comments about you again if you just please, tell me what made you that way."

"You want to know something, Tamaki? Earlier, when I first ran out, I went to that gazebo in the hedge maze. I didn't even know why, I just did. Hikaru came and he told me something. He said that everyone in the club cares about me more than anything. Is that true?"

"Of course, Haruhi. We'd do anything for you!" I don't even bring up the sudden change in the topic.

"I see. And you know what he also said? He said that you were the one who cared the most. He said, even though you're over dramatic and crazy, and even though you're always making scenes in the clubroom over me, it just means you love me. He also said that you worry about me more than anyone. He said, 'nothing quite compares to being woken up at 4 AM to you screaming about how I'd gone bankrupt and fled by night'." She laughed a bit. "And I'd have to say, I would quite agree. That is, assuming you called me under those circumstances. Which you wouldn't. Because if you were able to get hold of me, then I most certainly wouldn't have been forced to flee the country."

I blushed a bit. "Yes, that is true…"

"Tamaki, you're crazy. You're weird, insane, strange, way too over-dramatic, a crybaby, a kiss maniac, and a flirt. You make a huge deal out of the smallest, most insignificant things. You're annoying. You wear me out, you drive me crazy, and for some reason…" I flinch ready for another insult… "I respect you more than anyone else. I don't know why, but I do. Your attitude towards life intrigues me and I just can't help but get caught up in it. I've been watching you for a long time, Tamaki. Every day during club for about a month and a half. I watch you. I sneak glances at you from across the room in between customers and I wonder how on earth I can be so drawn to you."

"Haruhi…"

"Iie, let me finish. You wanted to hear it, so you're gonna hear it through to the end." I nod and get quiet again.

"Today, when I glanced your way, I saw that girl. She was beautiful, like a goddess almost—she was everything you deserve and more. And the more I watched you, the more I saw how different you acted with her and I figured that, well, if you loved her that much, I should be happy for you. I should be happy that you found someone you deserve, who can love you completely and who deserves to be associated with one of the most influential families in Japan.

"I just…froze up. I saw you with her, acting like that, and I couldn't move. I couldn't glance back to the girls I was hosting. I just kept staring. I couldn't look away. And then, I saw you lean over, closer to her face than I'd ever seen you to another girl, and I couldn't take it anymore. My chest clenched together and it hurt…it hurt so much and I couldn't take it!"

I saw the tears start falling again, but I couldn't say anything. I just reached up to brush away some of the tears.

"It hurt so much…I just started crying for no reason and I had to leave. If I didn't, all the girls would have found out about me…so I just ran. And then, I left and you didn't even look up at me…it hurt more. I couldn't take it anymore! Even now…" she clutched part of her soaking shirt in a fist over her heart. "Even now, it hurts so much, Tamaki. I'm such a fool. I didn't even realize it until today. And now, it's too late. It doesn't even matter anymore."

"Haruhi, what are you saying? What doesn't matter?"

"You're such a baka, Tamaki! You still don't have any idea what I'm talking about? You're the one who makes jokes about it all the time! You're the one who has all those stupid fantasies of me…and I swore! I swore I would never, ever be stupid enough to let them be true because it's just not possible for someone like you. You could never love me. I was just a toy to you. Some stupid little doll you can play dress-up with. A foolish little puppet who can be controlled because of one stupid mistake! I'm just a show for all you rich bastards! I make you 'commoner coffee' and 'commoner ramen' and I even let you visit the 'commoner's apartment complex' and go to the 'commoner's supermarket' and eat 'commoner's hot pot' at a 'commoner's kotatsu'! It's like I'm a circus attraction to every last one of you! But I swore, above everything else, that I would never, ever be stupid enough to fall in love with one of the rich bastards. And look where I am now. Down on my knees in front of you pouring my heart out to you, and what are you going to say? That I'm just like all those other girls you flirt with shamelessly. I mean nothing to you. I know that, and still, here I am saying it to you. Watashi ha daisuki Tamaki! Daisuki, daisuki, daisuki!"

She's just a heap on the ground now. Her body's shaking in uncontrollable sobs…

Finally, I reach out to her and rest my hand on her shoulder. I don't even try to force her up anymore. Instead, I just sit back down next to her and start softly rubbing my hand against her back in circles.

"Ne…Haruhi? Gomen. Gomen. I didn't realize we made you feel so horrible. I didn't realize I was the one who…never mind. But you wanna know something? From the very first moment you put on that Ouran uniform, I thought you were the most beautiful person I had ever met, even when I thought you were a guy. And then I thought that someone so beautiful should be able to know that she is beautiful—that you should be loved for who you are—because you are beautiful in every way, Fujioka Haruhi. I just wanted you to know that.

"As for the commoner stuff…I just wanted to know more about you. I care about you more than anyone else possibly could. But you…well, it always seemed to me like you hated me. And so I tried to make you happy by helping you feel more at home at Ouran. But it obviously didn't work. If you hate the Host Club that much, you are welcome to quit at any time—I won't stop you. You can reveal your gender to the school any time you wish."

She was looking up at me when I looked back to her. "You…you just wanted me to be happy?"

"Of course. After all, it's not like any of us would know what it's like to make such a transition. We love you, Haruhi. We wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you. All you have to do is tell us to stop. But usually when you did, I could see the laughter in your eyes, so I just thought you were being stubborn. But for us to have hurt you that much…God, Haruhi, did you think we'd force you to stay? Did you think we were just trying to make your life miserable and difficult?"

"No, no…I just thought that, well, that you were just like that by nature."

I smile. "Contrary to popular belief, Haruhi, I don't think your existence is a joke, nor do I plan to laugh at you for confiding in me. Now come here…" I stand up and pull her to her feet with me. "You don't need to be slouching in the mud. Now we're in a park. There are plenty of places to sit around here." I pull her over to the picnic table we were under before.

"But it's so wet!"

I smirk. "So are you. Just c'mere…" I drag her down and sit her on my lap. "Now, are we done crying for the day?"

She blushes and I laugh. "Well…"

"I'm just kidding, Haruhi…I'm here for you whenever you need me."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"Then…could you do just one thing for me?"

"Anything."

"Prove to me that what you said was true. I need to know that you're not just playing around with me like all the other girls you flirt with."

"Hmmm…are you sure?"

"Hai…" She looks skeptical now. I can't help but laugh at her.

"Alright then." And before she can even think about what I said, I dip my head down and kiss her quickly, almost teasingly. "Does that answer your question?"

She blushes even deeper than before and looks down. I put my hand under her chin and lifted her face up to where I can meet her eyes with mine. "You don't have to hide it."

"H- how does that prove what you said to be true?"

"You've been watching me, right? You should know by now that I never kiss my clients. I tease them like crazy, but I don't actually kiss them. And aside from that earlier mishap you witnessed, which I can hardly count, that would be my first. And also, I never tell my clients that I love them."

"But you didn't…"

"Well now I do. I love Fujioka Haruhi, who is free to do whatever the hell she wants with me, even if she wants to keep dressing like a boy and make it look like I'm gay."

"Ha ha, very funny."

"What? It's true!"

"Oh, and by the way…"

"Yes…?"

"Why did you kiss that other girl?"

"Well, it wasn't like I wanted to or anything. I was so upset when you'd gone missing, she got a bit, shall we say, jealous. She started insulting you left and right, God, I almost slapped her! Then I told her to get out and that's when you showed up at the door. Annoying girl thought it'd be fun to piss you off even more, apparently. She spun around so fast I didn't even realize what was happening before you were gone. I left her with Hikaru and Kaoru. Hope they didn't kill her…it's too much trouble to hide a body…"

"So you didn't mean it?"

"Of course not, baka! She said you were a disgrace! That the Suoh Empire didn't need to be tarnished anymore than it already was!"

"Oh, well, that's true then, isn't it? Not like my name's worth much for a business."

"Haruhi, don't you ever say that again! Do you know what I told her?"

"To shove off?"

"Yes, but aside from that…"

"What?"

"I told her exactly what I told you: 'I'm me before I'm a Suoh'. And I also told her that I don't give a crap what my grandmother or anyone else has to say about it. Even if I have to give up all my money and power and go live in a commoner's apartment building with you, I will!"

"Why do I doubt you'd be able to survive without your fortune?"

"Whatever do you mean, Haruhi?"

"Just that you're a bit strange is all…"

"Hey, that's not very nice!"

"Whatever would you do if you had to ride the bus to work? How would you survive on food while you spend your week's lunch wages on train fare? Oh, how horrible! To be that poor…such a destitute! Why, you might as well just be homeless! And to not even own a car, let alone a limousine!"

"What are you going on about?"

"Just what you sound like whenever you visit my house."

"How rude! I'm not that bad…"

"Oh really? You want me to prove it to you?"

"How?"

"Let's go ride the bus to my house and I'll tape record every last bit of nonsense that comes out of your mouth. Then I can formally introduce you do Dad as my new boyfriend…"

"Haruhi, no! You dad would kill me!"

"Ha ha, you can't catch me!" She giggles as she jumps up and runs off.

"Haruhi! Haruhi, wait! Haruhi, come back!!!"

**Part II End**

"_**Watching"**_** End**

**Japanese to English Glossary**

_Usa-chan_- Bunny

If you don't know this one there's something wrong

you, go read the series again.

(This is Honey's bunny's name. Actually, it doesn't have a name, because usa-chan means bunny, so he's just calling it "my bunny" but still, I figured I'd mention it in case some people had only seen the anime.)

_Gomen Nasai-_ I'm sorry

_Gomen Ne_- I'm sorry

_Gomen_- I'm sorry

(These are all different variations and abbreviations of the same word used throughout the story. Basically, in order they go down in formality. It's like saying "I'm very sorry" "I'm sorry" or "sorry" though they technically all mean the same thing.)

_Onii-chan_- Brother

_Arigatou_- Thank You

_Tono_- My Lord

If you've watched the anime at all, you should know this one hands down. The twins use it all the time to joke around with Tamaki after he insists on being called "king"

_Baka_- Idiot/ Fool/ Stupid

_Hime_- Suffix on a name in referring to "Princess"

Ex- Princess Mononoke Mononoke-hime

(Generally there are other ways of saying "princess" in Japanese, however _–Hime_ is a suffix used to put the title to someone's actual name. However, Tamaki uses it in the series to simply refer to one of his clients without her name, so I use it thus in the story)

_Onegai_- Please

_Sempai_- suffix referring to someone who is older and more skilled at a craft. It is used in this series to refer to a senior in grade level.

Ex- Tamaki-sempai

_Hontou_- Really

_Hai_- Yes

_Iie_- No

_Haruhi no baka_- Haruhi is an idiot / Haruhi is stupid

'_Tou-san-_ Same as "_otou-san_", meaning "father"

_Watashi ha daisuki Tamaki_- I love Tamaki

_Daisuki_- Love / I love you

(Can be used to mean either. Technically it just means "love" as a branch off of the word

"_suki_" meaning "like". However, when used as a stand-alone word, it generally can be

understood as "I love you")

**Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! Please review for me!**

**With Love,**

Midnight 


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